The Tourist

I stood on the corner and my hat really did fly off my head. No one told me the bus drivers would drive like that here. The guide books said nothing on that subject. "Tipping is not mandatory," they counseled. "Spitting in public is highly inappropriate," they scolded. But when it came to the bus drivers: silence. I thought about getting on the next one just so I could be on the other side of the onslaught for once. Maybe that could have given me a chance to catch my breath.

Since the plane had landed, I had been in the middle of a tornado. The chattering I couldn't crack was a ceaseless gust. My practice with the tapes wasn't going to get me very far. The first person I talked to, a kindly grandmother-type with a face like a big pink sofa cushion, had hurried away, shooing her grandchildren ahead of her. Not a good sign. By studying my traveler's phrasebook, I was able to decipher the bigger, more imposing signs inside the terminal. "Exit" and "Taxis."

I guessed that the one ubiquitous sign—a blue rectangle with white script—said "Please smoke cigarettes freely." A haze inside the airport softened and coated everything with an invisible film. Maybe the grandmother had been offended that I hadn't offered her wee ones cigarettes.

My map was wilting like a leaf, and I was hardly holding up any better. I had worried the poor thing ever since the plane took off eleven hours ago. I was going to find my way through force of will, if not knowledge and organization. If I stared hard enough, arrows would light up and point the way. My eyes felt like they were shrinking in my head, compressed into little blue pearls. I kept up my tourist's jog along the street, watching out for buses—I could identify them by the gathering roar that preceded them. My traveler's checks were weighing me down. I was hungry. I could not have been more lost. A big cheery sign looked like it might be saying, "Come in here and have a bite," so I did. The menu was a tossed salad of mysteries and secrets and I pointed to a few things when the waiter came to me and I hoped for the very, very best they had.